Advice needed from people who have lost a loved one before
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Hi all,
We have been talking about when the right time is to get another dachshund since losing our precious Daisy. We really loved her color chocolate/tan and want another girl. But the thing we are having trouble with is we feel if we were to get another choc/tan girl would it seem like we are trying to replace Daisy? Because that is not what we want. She can’t be replaced but it makes us feel guilty thinking about it. Any advice would be appreciated.
TJ, Jessi
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July 19, 2006 @ 3:22 pm
Dear TJ and Jessi,
I have not ever lost a dog but I have suffered the loss of a very special cat. It’s been 13 years since Teddy and I had to part ways and while I went on to have several more cats since then, NONE of them have ever REPLACED Teddy since none of them ever could.
I suspect this is how you must feel about Daisy. I wouldn’t look at getting another dachshund as REPLACING Daisy. It is really honoring her memory because she was so special to you two and Sunny that you want a second doxie in your home. As for the chocolate/tan coloring I wouldn’t worry about that either. Maybe start looking for doxie puppies of no particular color or coat type. When you find the right one you’ll know it! Maybe the new one will be a long haired chocolate and tan, or a wirehair as adorable as Rusty.
I am so happy that you are considering adding a new fur kid to your family. Having two myself I can’t imagine how much you two and Sunny must be missing Daisy Mae. I think Daisy would be happy that you want to give another doxie a happy loving home.
Hopefully Chuck will weigh in on this question because he’s always got great advice.
Love, Laura Annabel (who says hi to Sunny Bear) and Brownie
July 19, 2006 @ 3:25 pm
I dont think that there is a really RIGHT time. In our case we lost our baby after about 14 yrs. We had to put him to sleep as the dachsie hip thing took its toll. After we did the deed we moved because of my husbands work. Bottom line is we knew that we wanted a dachsie but I figured not the same color. I began searching the internet and found a local site. Long story short we got our beautiful boy about 5 months or so after the passing. I will tell you that Cimarron is still called Spike even now! That has lessened quite a bit with time. Hope this helps.
July 19, 2006 @ 4:09 pm
Don’t feel you are replacing Daisy. My favorite color of dachsie was the color of Jack. Gypsy is quite simular in color also. Each and every dachsie, reguardless of color, has his/her OWN personality. In my past, I would have NEVER owned a black and tan NOR wire hair. Since the opportunity of Zuke (black/tan wire) came into my life…I learned a valuable lesson about dachshunds….when you love dachshunds….they ALL seem to be black/white (meaning no color, no preference). My love of the breed goes beyond color. I just learned that 2 years ago. God gave me the combination of BOTH and I LOVE Zuke to the bone and wouldn’t trade him for a ga-zillion dollars! Maybe a chocolate longhair might tickle your fancy?
Bless you both!
Suz
July 19, 2006 @ 4:18 pm
There isn’t any set “time” after losing a loved one and adopting another. You will in no way “replace” Daisy…you will however find another fur baby to love as much as you did Daisy and still love Sunny. You can never “replace” anyone, human or animal. It is a personal decision as to when to adopt another fur baby. After a kitten that we had for only a year had to be put down b/c of a liver cancer, we morned but then soon after found out that a friend that had a couple of stray kittens in need of good home. We saw it as “it was ment to be”. I’m sure when you lay eyes on “the one”, you will begin to fall in love all over again. The pain of losing will subside, but the love you shared will always be there!!
July 19, 2006 @ 4:21 pm
You aren’t “replacing” Daisy. You just have so much love to give. Why should you shy away from that? There is a doxie out there waiting for you, looking for you. Take her home, love her, care for her. You’ll never foregt Daisy. You can and will love again.
Hugs,
Lisa and Sophie.
July 19, 2006 @ 4:36 pm
TJ and Jesse, I have lost one dog since I have been on my own. He was not a dachshund, but still a special boy. At the time we had 2 others also. It was a couple months later that I got Heidi. Even though they are not the same breed I felt how you do. Just remember Daisy will always be your special girl. Just like having more than one child, you have more than enough love in you to never forget one. I agree with Laura, dont set your heart on a color, but let the baby pick you. You Are both very special people and I am sure there is one waiting for your loving home.
July 19, 2006 @ 4:50 pm
TJ & Jesse, you know how much Daisy loved you and she would not want you to deny another doxie your love. You’ll know when the time is right and I bet Sunny will let you know when he’s ready too. Daisy will always be in your hearts and she would want another doxie to enjoy the love that she did. Don’t second guess yourselves or question your feelings. Go with what feels right!
Love your pals,
Deb & Roo
July 19, 2006 @ 4:51 pm
Thank you all for your advice. The reason this is so hard is because of the topic in the forums. It has a link to a TX rescue that has lots of dachshunds in need. Well I came across a choc/tan little girl that they said is more full of life than most they see and is a tail wagging machine. She is 2 years old and has lived her whole life outside. I kind of seen it as “did I find this ad for a reason” type of thing. I really want to help her but am scared at the same time that I would be tarnishing Daisy’s memory. Just still so hard without her around.
July 19, 2006 @ 4:58 pm
Even if you were to buy another dachsie that looked identical to Daisy, in your hearts Daisy will always be, no matter what:)) Something so cherished and loved cannot be replaced, not ever. You will know when you see the right dachsie, and it might not be a chocolate/tan. If it is the same color as Daisy that’s okay too.
July 19, 2006 @ 5:26 pm
Thank you Bobbi, that is so true. She will always have a piece of our hearts.
July 19, 2006 @ 5:39 pm
Dear TJ and Jessi,
I truly believe that if you were to rescue that little girl you’re talking about, it will in no way tarnish Daisy’s memory…quite the opposite is true, I believe - rescuing a dachshund in need will be such a beautiful way to HONOUR Daisy’s memory.I agree with everybody here, Daisy will always live in your (and our) hearts, she will always be your precious Princess! I, too, believe that things happen for a reason, and there must be a reason you came across that info and it’s not letting you go. Do what your heart tells you is right.
With all our love,
Brooke, Frankie & Lola
July 19, 2006 @ 8:13 pm
I believe in “signs”. Nudges from above I like to call them. Everything happens for a reason. Follow your heart.
Lisa and Sophie
July 19, 2006 @ 8:28 pm
Tj and Jesse, I have to agree, something made you find that little girl. Good luck and we are all here with you both.
July 19, 2006 @ 10:24 pm
I AGREE FOLLOW YOUR HEART. EVEN IF YOU GET THE LIITLE GIRL YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT AND EVEN IF SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE DAISY IT WILL NOT BE DAISY. IT WILL HAVE ITS OWN PERSONALITY AND IT WILL LOVE TO BE LOVED JUST THE SAME. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR CHOICE. HUGS>>>>>>> SAMI JO AND LISA
July 20, 2006 @ 2:25 am
I got Rhuari when my Cocker was 151/2 yrs old,I knew that he wouldn’t go on for ever and didn’t want to be without a dog if anything happened to him. My cocker died 1yr ago this week,I’d had Rhuari a few days short of a year by then,I was devestated and all that kept me going was having Rhuari to take care of.
I had already been looking for another dachsie and stepped up my search.
It took me a long time to find Chase and Kim her breeder and the strange thing is that my Cockers name was Kim too,also I have met some lovely Kim’s on THDB,I didn’t know any till then.
So I feel Kim has had a hand in all this and I don’t feel I have replaced him,I talk to him everyday as he is buried in the back garden and I pass him as I come and go to the house.
You will know when the time is right and when you find the right dachsie whether she looks like Daisy or not she will be her own “person”, have her own ways and temporament.
We are here to support you with what ever decision you make.
Rhona
July 20, 2006 @ 8:43 am
TJ and Jessi, Thank you, thank you, thank you for considering rescue! You are absolutely right, there are so many little ones out there that need to be saved. What an honor to your precious girl, to save a life! I know you love choc/tan, but please try to keep an open mind in regards to color/coat and instead try to find the girl (or boy) that will best fit in with your family and your beautiful Sunny. No one will think you are replacing Daisy. Everyone is right, she cannot be replaced. Instead you are looking to share your love and receive love in return. There is nothing wrong with that! I’m sending love and prayers to you!
Lee Anne